relationships

The Delights of Destruction

August 19, 2011

This essay was originally written and performed for Write Club Atlanta, a monthly competitive writing event. With the possible exception of demolition experts, terrorists and rock stars sitting around in their hotel rooms, no one ever says, “I wish I were more destructive.” But why not? Why has “destruction” become such a dirty word? I understand that nobody [...]

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Hi. I’m The Classless Chap, and I’m a Flake

July 22, 2011

Since they say the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem, I recently admitted I was a flake. It wasn’t an easy thing to do, but I was sick and tired of faking being sick and tired just so I could get out of doing something. You know how an alcoholic never [...]

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Fade In: My Lamest Attempt at Hooking Up

December 14, 2010

I was never good at hitting on women. At least not in the traditional sense. In other words, I was never one of those guys who could go to a bar and charm some girl into going home with me. For one thing, the thought of using “pick-up lines” always made me cringe. Who, I [...]

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Celebrity Fantasies and Mark Ruffalo Dreams

July 26, 2010

Almost every couple has had the “Celebrity Pass” conversation, in which you’re granted a guilt-free one-night stand with a celebrity of your choice. This morning, my wife switched it up a bit and asked me which celebrity I could see myself having a relationship with. While it’s true that I hung Anna Nicole Guess ads [...]

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