Several years ago a girl said something to me that I still do not understand. While doing something that will be obvious she said, “Don’t cum in my mouth. I have kids.”
As weird as I found this statement, I wanted her to get back to what she was doing so I quickly assured her I would not. But when it was all over I remember feeling offended. I may be The Classless Chap, but give me SOME credit.
I’ve always operated under the assumption that telling a woman you’re about to cum is customary, like leaving a 20 percent tip after dinner. But, just as there are some who do not believe in tipping, maybe there are guys that don’t give so much as a head-tap warning. Since I find it impossible not to tip, even when I’ve had bad service, I could never be one of those guys. Hell, I’d do elaborate baseball signals if that was the only way I could let you know what was about to happen.
Throughout the years I’ve thought about that night not because it was necessarily hot, but because I’d really like to know what the fuck she meant. Sadly, I’ve yet to come up with a plausible explanation.
Was she going to finish up and immediately go kiss her kids?
If the kids were in the other room at the time, maybe I could buy this reasoning. But they were not there, so that doesn’t work.
Was she a moron and thought she could get pregnant by ingesting semen?
I’ve known and slept with some really dumb girls, but I’ve never even heard of someone stupid enough to believe this one.
Was it a weird religious belief?
This one is a possibility. Maybe she thought that if I came in her mouth she wouldn’t get into heaven. Although, I’m pretty sure that if her god didn’t want semen in her mouth he probably didn’t want her to be having a one night stand either. Damn, I know there is some sort of “speaking in tongues” joke I’m missing out on here.
I guess I should just give up trying to figure out what she meant and be happy that I never saw her again. Who knows, next time she may have told me something weirder like, “Don’t squeeze my ass – I have an Uncle!”
everal years ago a girl said something to me that I still do not understand. In between doing something that will be obvious, she said, “Don’t cum in my mouth. I have kids.”
As weird as I found this statement, I quickly assure her I will not. But when it was all over, I remember feeling offended.
I’ve always thought that telling a woman you’re about to cum is a customary practice, like leaving a 20 percent tip when you go out to dinner. But, just as there are some who do not believe in tipping, maybe there are guys that don’t give so much as a head-tap warning. Since I find it hard to leave a bad tip even when I’ve had bad service, I’m not one of these guys. Hell, I’ll do anything needed to let someone know; from elaborate baseball signs to a simple utterance of “now.” Whatever works.
Throughout the years I’ve thought about that night not because it was necessarily hot, but because I’d really like to know what the fuck she meant. Sadly, I’ve yet to come up with a plausible explanation.
Was she going to finish up and immediately go kiss her kids?
If the kids were in the other room at the time, maybe I could buy this reasoning. But they were not there, so that doesn’t work.
Was she a moron and thought she could get pregnant by ingesting semen?
I’ve known and slept with some stupid people, but I’ve never even heard of someone dumb enough to believe this one.
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I think I’m too young for this post… but damn! It’s funny. Don’t tell my mom.